Wedding Guest Fatigue or the Disappearance of Community

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Recently, one of my brides sent me an article titled "Wedding Guest Fatigue." The piece explores a growing trend in modern weddings: rising costs, multiple pre-wedding events, and an increasing number of expectations placed on guests. Black-tie dress codes with specific color palettes, destination weddings in other countries—or even continents—wedding gifts, bachelor and bachelorette parties, welcome parties with their own dress codes, engagement dinners, and much more. Not to mention couples who expect specific gifts or significant financial contributions from guests with large families, who may not always be in a position to afford all of these expenses.

Previous generations usually celebrated with, at most, a bachelor or bachelorette party, the wedding itself, or a bridal shower. Most of the planning was handled by the couple and a few family members who were willing to help. It is understandable that people feel overwhelmed by the growing number of commitments and expenses surrounding weddings today. But I would like to shine a light on another side of this conversation.

Have you noticed that, especially since the pandemic, our sense of community seems to be fading? Along with it, so have many of the social courtesies and interpersonal etiquette that once felt natural.

When I was a child, for example, it was unthinkable to visit someone's home for the first time empty-handed or attend a birthday party or wedding without bringing a gift for the host. I can remember countless occasions when family friends offered to drive someone to the airport simply because that was what people did for one another. So is "guest fatigue" really something that should be blamed solely on engaged couples? Or is it also a reflection of this increasingly detached way of relating to one another?

I am not referring to couples who demand expensive gifts, black-tie attire, and additional financial contributions from guests who clearly cannot afford them. Those excesses exist, and they deserve to be questioned.

But this discussion also forces us to reflect on how we care for our closest friendships and relationships.

When was the last time you inconvenienced yourself to help someone you care about? Offered a ride? Set aside time to listen to a friend who needed to vent? Attended an important event even though you didn't really feel like going?

These small "sacrifices" are part of living in a community. Sometimes, attending your friend's daughter's birthday party is more important than staying home to recover from a long day at work—especially if you already said you would be there.

Twenty years ago, when bachelor and bachelorette parties, weddings, baby showers, and bridal showers already existed, would people have complained so much about attending one of the most meaningful celebrations in the life of someone close to them? And, by the same token, would couples have been so disconnected from their guests' financial realities that they would expect investments beyond what many could reasonably afford?

I will leave you with that reflection, but I would also like to make one request: don't let one of Latin America's greatest treasures disappear. Be present. Welcome others. Allow yourself to be welcomed. Celebrate those you love, and let yourself be celebrated in return. Share your life with other people.

Because, in the end, a human soul is nothing without being touched by another human soul.